Damn right I want fries with that!

So I'm really pissey and Hubby's prob'ly sick of hearing about it and I need to further vent/digest.....anyway, Thursday night at work a patron, whom I had dubbed the 'crazy Kroger girl' asked me if I was pregnant. I'm not...not even close and thankfully so. She said she wanted to ask first before she made a comment...you know, because it woulda been impolite to just comment....um...okay. So being slightly pissey, but determined to just blow the crazy Kroger girl off, I went to vent to my friend Ilse. Ilse just gave me an odd look and said that she was going to ask me last week but didn't want to seem rude. Then she went on to demonstrate the exercises that I should be doing because I've "let myself go". Oh yes she did. She said that.

AND THEN...as we were leaving for the night she tried handing me two magazines she'd come across...one of which I believe was Health and featured an article on '10 ways to a flat belly' or some such nonsense. Oh yes she did.

Now granted, to cut her some slack, Ilse is not American and there may be some cultural stuff going on here...but I assume if she knows it's not polite to ask a woman if she's pregnant, she probably understands it's not polite to tell a woman she's let herself go.

Have I gained weight in the past year? Yep, you betcha. I have only one pair of jeans that fit...a couple of skirts that fit only because they have elastic waistbands. I'm not all that uncomfortable with the weight gain...it's still in the healthy range (or maybe just above it) and Hubby's still attracted to me...I'm just too cheap to buy myself some new clothes.

Part of me wants to say SCREW YOU WORLD, I rather like the bigger boobs this weight gain has given me! The other part wants to say I'LL SHOW YOU WORLD, I can have the flattest belly in the neighborhood if only I wanted to. The former part, however, was in charge when I went grocery shopping Friday morning and I ended up with ingredients to make Paula Deen's mac & cheese and ice cream and a cinnamon danish that I've managed to each 3/4 of all by myself thus far. But hell, I grabbed some fresh veggies and cheese tortellini to make a stir fry and a bag of baby spinach and a Boca veggie chicken patty for a salad...just because it sounded good.

I don't know...I'm mad that it happened and I'm mad at myself for being so upset...who the hell cares what I weigh besides me, Hubby and my doc? I've looked this way for months and yet now that's all I can think about. I can't blow it off or laugh if off like I'd like to...and can't decide if it's time to do something about it (Hubby needs to lose weight, doc ordered, and it would probably be easier for both of us if we did it together) or just continue to sooth myself with some occasional homemade, gooey, creamy mac & cheese.

I guess it just comes to....I want to get back in shape eventually, but I don't want this to be the motivation.

So in conclusion.....ARGH!